An excerpt from a story I am writting...

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I never did like going downtown; hoards of people rushing from here to there, bumping into one another like ants, being controlled by a walk and wait sign, this was not my idea of a good time. I always thought how impersonal this place was; concrete, noise and obnoxious smells. New York is a city that I only need to come to every once in a while. Growing up on a small rural farm in the Midwest with six brothers and one sister, I had longed to be in the big city. I loved it when my father would get the new National Geographic and when it was my turn to look at it, I would go to my secret place in the barn and drift into my dream world looking at the pictures of “far-off” lands; the beautiful cityscapes, the jungles of Africa and the bare breasted women of Borneo and I knew one day I would see these wonderful places, but now, far away from that magical childhood, I am here in this concrete jungle; a place I now despise. I need palm trees, sandy beaches, the smells of Caribbean foods drifting through the air and the oiled tanned bodies of women in their scantly little bikini’s; this runs through my mind everyday….oh how I miss this, how I miss Cordova. Will she still be there?

Amazing kids of Bahia....

Saudade...

Hidden Treasures

As soon as you step off the plane, Hawaii's hidden treasure's embrace you. The gentle wind runs its fingers through your hair and the warmth kisses your face. The dark shadows peering just below the waters entice you to peek under the seductive blue surface. Many wonderful magical creatures await your gaze. Uncover the lush and untamed beauty of the valleys and climb to the top of the world, 10,000 feet above the ocean to witness an early morning sunrise. The dazzlingly clear water and warm golden sands of her beaches will stay in your memory for many life times. Walk on "black" sand beaches as soft as talc powder....

My short stay in this paradise will be with me forever.

Aloha.

I am resting my wings. A bird that has no place to fly will soon loose it's feathers.
Coming back here and trying to find my place of refuge is turning out to be more difficult than I expected.
I rise in the morning with a feeling that I don't belong here, but if not here, then where?...
Will I ever again look out of the small window as I am drinking my Jack Daniels at 35,000 feet and see the patch work of colors drifting by..I don't know, I hope so?
My travels have always been my future, planning on the next trip was part of my day, part of who I am, or was.
Now, I watch the silver birds fly over and wonder...where are they going?
I need to plan a trip.
As I am drinking my coffee this morning, I am dreaming of far off exotic places.
I see the palms swaying in the breeze....feel the warm sand between my toes, smell the salt air...but this is just in my mind..I feel a little sad.

THE STING OF THE BRASILIAN RAIN...

(I wrote this on my first trip to Brasil sitting in a Boteco..2007)

Thunder....lightning, the clapping of hands for the guitar player. I sit and watch Brasil pass by my chair as I drink a “Skol” beer. What an experience...my mind drifts back to Portland Oregon, USA, but am I really in Brasil? All that I know and have known are just memories. This is a sacred experience that a person can only dream about. Beautiful people, wonderful music and cold beer, very cold beer.


Rain and thunder...the rain is like a lover, wet, wild and unpredictable. It falls like a river going over the falls. The thunder has a sound that reminds me just how small and insignificant I am in this world. All who know this rain and lighting come under the shelter, as they have felt the sting of hard rain before. The waiters with their red turbans on their heads, frantic and moving with the grace of a ballerina from table to table. Today I have experienced Brasil up close and personal, great food, wonderful company. My new friends I met at the Federal Police office while getting visa information have just arrived and we are sharing a beer. He is from the US and married to a beautiful Brasilian lady. They plan on living in this amazing country…I wish them well.


I leave my chair to go talk to the musician, he has stopped playing his guitar to take a break...no English and with my infantile Portuguese, we still communicate...are these words I am saying only for me? He looks at me with curious eyes and a smile.


The thunder rolls across the sky and then silence.... the noise of the crowd grows louder, it is like a symphony, it keeps your heart pumping and you feel alive...thank God, I am alive.


A young man hears me speaking English to the musician; he looks at me as if I am from another planet.... I am.


A beautiful woman walks by and looks for a chair to set in...She sees friends and they all hug, laugh and talk in a language that I wish I could understand...I can only guess what they are saying. She greets them with a kiss to one cheek and a hug, as I watch with a voyeur’s curiosity, I think to myself, why don’t we do this...why don’t the people from the North have this closeness....maybe someday we will. We all see it when we travel abroad and slowly we are incorporating this kind of greeting into our own ridged customs.


The rain has stopped...it is quiet now; the volume of noise from the crowd has increased, people talking and laughing. Brasilian rain requires you to stop and enjoy life, because in the silence of no rain, they all know it will return. For this is the rainy season of Central Brasil. I again realize that I am a world apart from who I was and what I have known. My insecurity’s keeps me aware of my surroundings and I feel blessed to be a part of all of this.


Brasilians come and go, full of life and having hope for whatever they may become in their futures, I am sure of this.


The waiter is coming to our table to see if we want more beer... I must go now. I say my farewells and give a kiss on both cheeks of my new Brasilian female friend and pat her husband on the back. I enjoy these customs.


I will walk through the streets of Belo Horizonte, Brasil back to my home, and I am careful to walk around the water puddles and small rivers that run down the streets. I have heard that a man disappeared in one....I am in Brasil and I know that the rain will come again... pouring from the heavens.


Soon again, I will hear the familiar sound of the thunder, and feel the sting of the Brasilian rain.

Shadows...."they have importance"

I find it interesting when an old phase of our life has finished and a new one begins.


We all go through these, but sometimes one comes along that has such an impact on ones life that is difficult to let go. But in life all things change and we must be brave and secure in our thoughts that the next phase, the new one will have just as much enjoyment and is as fulfilling as the one we have just walked away from.


With each new day, time will heal all wounds, hopefully we come to a place of peace and contentment...we all need this to go forward. And we must be good to ourselves, allow ourselves to reflect on where we have been and where we want to go, and protect all that is dear to who we are. Life has many twists and turns and it can be a good and sweet thing, or we can just get caught up in what could have been....and waste precious time dwelling on the past.